Kadangkala aku terhanyut jugak. Dek kealpaan diri sendiri. Kadangkala aku terlupa. Bukan apa. Aku memang choose to not remember. Kadangkala aku ingin jugak menyalahkan faktor luaran aku. Kadangkala aku nak jugak cakap ini semua susah. Aku tak mampu.
Tapi ketahuilah. Hati itu yang jadi nadi. Buat kita sedar akan yang hakiki. Pilihan itu atau ini. Baik atau buruk diri. Semua itu mula dari hati. Kalau hati pun gelap, macam mana nak terang hari?
Bila tiba masa nanti. Aku mahu hidu wangian kasturi. Di syurga firdausi.
Allah;
Kuatkanlah hati ini;
kuatlah. Aku mahu kau kuat.
Sebab kau perisai ku.
Hanya hatiku.
Baik hatiku, baiklah akalku, baiklah jasadku.
Iman aku dihati.
Hati jangan mati.
Tolong.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Problems
I tried and its ugly.
*laughing hard*
Okay stop. I'll give it a second shot.
Sometimes when you least expect it, the worst thing comes pulling on your pants. I'm hoping I'll be okay. I'm scared, really am. There's something wrong biologically, I suppose. The uncertainties shadows the truth, waiting for the right time to unveil its true self.
On a whole different note, I have been working hard. Well at least a little improvement than what I used to work for. Organic Chem can be a pain in the ass sometimes. And Physics too. But its okay nothing in life comes easy. I secretly think that I am not THAT stupid with numbers. I just need to think and use my brain a little instead of giving up halfway. Cause that's the only thing that I know best. Giving up.
But not this time.
Exams are on, next week. Praying that I'll keep this momentum going. EnshaAllah.. All I need is just to satisfy myself. And Allah.
Hoi. Tolong lah belajar untuk Allah. *peringatan keras
*laughing hard*
Okay stop. I'll give it a second shot.
Sometimes when you least expect it, the worst thing comes pulling on your pants. I'm hoping I'll be okay. I'm scared, really am. There's something wrong biologically, I suppose. The uncertainties shadows the truth, waiting for the right time to unveil its true self.
On a whole different note, I have been working hard. Well at least a little improvement than what I used to work for. Organic Chem can be a pain in the ass sometimes. And Physics too. But its okay nothing in life comes easy. I secretly think that I am not THAT stupid with numbers. I just need to think and use my brain a little instead of giving up halfway. Cause that's the only thing that I know best. Giving up.
But not this time.
Exams are on, next week. Praying that I'll keep this momentum going. EnshaAllah.. All I need is just to satisfy myself. And Allah.
Hoi. Tolong lah belajar untuk Allah. *peringatan keras
Monday, February 27, 2012
Back on Track
Okay.
Now people have been asking.
Not that I'm gonna pretend that I'm a celebrity and say "Oh I need my own space and privacy". No. But I just felt it was very tiring to the point of being hypocritical. In fact I wanted to keep true to my writings.
You see I don't really write that much nowadays. If time wasn't an issue, I would say that sometimes the passion fades. At times I get really scared. That I'd lose my flare. I'd lose the self-satisfaction.
I'd love not to be known. I'd love to keep low. I chose to be anonymous. I'd love to stay true to myself. Because nowadays, what I'm most afraid of is losing my identity. Losing who I am.
I have to admit I kinda miss blogging. I didn't give up on it. Its too precious. It's an asset. I'll do whatever it takes.
And I don't need you to like what I write.
Now people have been asking.
Not that I'm gonna pretend that I'm a celebrity and say "Oh I need my own space and privacy". No. But I just felt it was very tiring to the point of being hypocritical. In fact I wanted to keep true to my writings.
You see I don't really write that much nowadays. If time wasn't an issue, I would say that sometimes the passion fades. At times I get really scared. That I'd lose my flare. I'd lose the self-satisfaction.
I'd love not to be known. I'd love to keep low. I chose to be anonymous. I'd love to stay true to myself. Because nowadays, what I'm most afraid of is losing my identity. Losing who I am.
I have to admit I kinda miss blogging. I didn't give up on it. Its too precious. It's an asset. I'll do whatever it takes.
And I don't need you to like what I write.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Of Backpacks and Bad Asses Part 1
Day 1.
Jan 19th, Irbid.
"Where are the muraqqibs? I thought we promised to meet up at 2.30pm?"
"Can someone call them already?"
"Ah, there they are"
Indeed, they were 30 minutes late. At first glance, the three guys who were going to follow us on this trip doesn't seem interesting at all. No offence. The journey to the airport was really quiet. No one dared to start a conversation. Truth is, we never really get to know the guys before. I bet they didn't even know we existed too. Considering that one of them only happened to add us on Facebook a day before the journey started. We were complete strangers going on a backpacking trip. So yeah, it was crickets all the way.
Arriving in Queen Alia International Airport an hour later marked our real backpacking journey. Goodness gracious we were super excited to the point of euphoria. Ok that was a little bit over the top. We saw some familiar Malaysian faces at the check-in counters. Something we expected. Malaysian students in Jordan will never settle with spending a whole month of winter break over here. Come on, its a very tiny country.
While checking in, there was this one very snobbish airport lady who doesn't even know how to speak English properly but happened to act like she was a boss. Shuush. She was asking a group of Malaysians going to the UK to wait outside the check-in line and wait for other Malaysians to check-in together. I have no idea why she did that though.
Anyhow, we boarded the plane without any glitch. The EasyJet flight, bound to London Gatwick took around 5 hours. In case you're wondering, yes its a low cost budget flight. And yes, the seats can't be reclined. Not to mention free seating as well. Which made everyone to board the plane very quickly to choose their seats. Just like AirAsia used to do. I really thought only in Malaysia that people are very cheapskate and not check-in their luggage. It turns out that everyone in the world does the same. The cabin was full of hand luggages. Oh well. The flight was erm... okay honestly it was boring. Like come on 5 hours without in-flight entertainment. So one advice to future budget travellers, stock up you iPod with good musics and movies or bring things to read to kill time.
Day 2
Jan 20th, London
Touched down at Gatwick Airport around 12-ish am. Goodness gracious I imagined the airport to be something like LCCT, boy was I wrong. It was big. Though nothing can beat Heathrow, but it is still very big and very nice too. First stop, their toilets. LOL. We all went in, leaving the guys outside. I guess the guys were bored of waiting for us when we took forever brushing our teeth and do business in the toilet. They freaking left us TT.TT
We were taking our own sweet time going through the immigrations and baggage reclaims because everyone knows there was nothing to rush. HELLO 17 HOURS OF TRANSIT PLEASE? The boys saw us walking very gracefully towards the immigration and asked whether we've filled in the arrival cards. Just like a pro, we answered "Dah" and overtook them and got cleared first. Muahahaha *evil laugh*
Next we looked around the North Terminal for places to lepak and rest before we set off on a quick trip to Central London in the morning. Costa Coffee for some midnight lattes and some much-needed sleep on the benches.
"In case you're wondering, no I'm not cold"
A very friendly pakcik, wearing a short sleeve shirt on a 2 degree winter morning, was telling us stories of London before we went on EasyBus to Central London at around 7 am.
"Ya know, there was snow around two me-tuh thick on the runway last yeah. The planes couldn't land on duh runway. All flights were cancelled"
"Cheers guys. Have fun in London"
And we did.
We rode on EasyBus to Central London. Took us over an hour. The plan was to go to Oxford Street, and only that. Each of us bought London's Underground Tube day pass. Saw loads of handsome young school lads - as how Kak Alya likes to put it - riding the tube to go to school. That is now, the definition of cool. So tell me when can I ride an underground train to my university? Never in a million years. Lols.
We totally forgot that it was rush hour. London-ers are busy going on and off the train for work. Ah what the hell. Lets just do it the Jordanian way. Lets just squeeze in y'all! The train arrived and everyone squeezed in. It was packed. Imagine KTM on a Friday evening. Just as I thought everyone was already inside, Amir blurted out an "Eh Ama!"
Too late Amir, too late. =.="
The tube door closed and Ama was left behind! I could feel my heart pumping in my ears.
"Tunggu Ama kat Nottinghill lah. She knows her way. She's been here before"
"NO! Let's get off at the next stop and wait for her!"
"What? Can we even see her with this seas of people?"
And we got off at the next station not knowing what to do. Seconds later another train passed and voila! There was Ama standing at the door. HEART ATTACK #1.
Continued the journey and got off at Bond Street. We had brunch at Garfunkel's courtesy Ama's high school friend, Farida, who is doing her A Levels over there. Smoked salmon was bloody good I tell ya. All we did after that was walk along the street and went into these mind-blowing stores. Hanya mampu puji kerana takde duit KAHKAH.
Went back to the airport, got our stuffs and checked in for Vienna! Woohoo! Flight to Vienna was at 5.00pm. Duration: approx 2 hours. On the flight I sat next to a lovely lady, travelling with her French boyfriend. She was travelling to Slovak to meet her parents. And I said I was on a backpacking trip to Vienna with friends. I told her our original plan was to go to Slovakia but we detoured and changed it to Vienna instead. All she said was - "That was a smart move".
A senior from KISAS - Nora's school - fetched us at the airport and taught us how to ride the U-Bahn and S-Bahn to get around Vienna. Kak Huda was so baik and even jotted down some of the places we could go on a piece of paper.
She brought us on an OBB S-Bahn train to our hostel in Keplerplatz, pre-booked of course, by the most awesome hostel picker, Kak Alya! Hostel Meininger was super awesome! With really good rates! Highly recommended. Oh and there's a bonus to it as well. Across the street from our hostel, there was this errr how do I put this nicely... this small little place where adults go to see some adult show? If you know what I mean. Haha.
ANYWAY.
The hostel was nice. Really.
Day 3
Jan 21st, Vienna
All we did on this day was walk around the city without any, ANY idea on where to go. We were a little bit clueless at first. But when all you see was beautiful architectures, amazing landscapes, fabulous people, you just don't care. We wandered around the city, trusting our feet and instincts. Nothing is more wonderful than that. One word : carefree. Not Kotex.
Stephansplatz; the city centre
Some statues. We dont even know their names and the story behind it LOL
I think this is the Burgtheather, or whatever its called
Rathausplatz
We wandered around the city until we found this pakcik. Nora wanted to take photos with him at first because he was in this fancy outfit, but somehow this pakcik has something else to offer us *rubbing hands in glee*
This pakcik were promoting tickets to a classical performance. The girls were keen on going. Though everyone was being extra skeptical to the fact that the dress code was casual. Yes we were clueless but not clueless enough to know that every theatre performances has a dress code. One who does not obey the code is committing a major social faux pax. But the pakcik said we look good and sneakers and jeans are fine. So we bought 4 tickets. Each costs a whooping 29 euros. Show will be starting at 8 that night.
And in the evening ... *drum roll* IT SNOWED!
We walked through the snow, rode the metro, got off at Harengasse and walked to Palais Kinsky, the venue where the show was held. Suprise surprise! We were there feeling very under-dressed. Walking on a smooth red carpet with jeans and wet sneakers, thanks to the snow. But what the hell, we paid for the tickets. Yang penting confident kahkah.
On this particular night, we came up with the bad ass concept. Bad ass muslimah style. The most bad ass thing we did was .... going out at 10.30pm without muraqqibs. Eating fries at McDonalds. Paling bad ass dalam dunia. Well, that's better than sleeping without brushing your teeth. Say what? That was Kak Alya's definition of a total bad ass.
Bad ass eating fries at 10.30 at night
Day 4
Jan 22nd, Vienna
"We'd like to skate, but we know nothing about skating"
"How old are you guys?"
"19 year-olds"
"You can skate in the kids skating rink, its for free"
Like true Asians, we skate like noobs - with the Austrian kids. The skating rink was full with toddlers learning how to skate and suddenly this 7 huge Asian kids started to join them. All eyes were on us. We knew it, we did not belong over there. KAHKAH. Bought tickets for the real rinks after practising for a few minutes. AND BAM! It was so much better!
Next stop was Prater Park and Schonbrunn Palace. Praterstern was a little bit deserted, probably because we went on a weekend. But we nevertheless had fun. Throw us anywhere and we have no problems having fun.
Bumper cars. Seriously. Bumper cars. Out of all the places. In Vienna. Bumper cars. 2 euros. Yes.
Phew. That was fun.
Last place we visited in Vienna was Schonbrunn Palace. The Palace used to be the house of the emperor Franz Joseph. Who was the father of Maria Antoinette. The palace was uh-mazing.
Franz Joseph once said, "One must work until one is exhausted".
He was very fond of his wife. There were speculations though on whether or not his wife felt the same.
"Marriage is an absurd institution"
That was what she once said. Maybe she was having PMS. Never speculate on the empress ok.
I wont guarantee this "travelogue" will be continued. It depends.
Jan 19th, Irbid.
"Where are the muraqqibs? I thought we promised to meet up at 2.30pm?"
"Can someone call them already?"
"Ah, there they are"
Indeed, they were 30 minutes late. At first glance, the three guys who were going to follow us on this trip doesn't seem interesting at all. No offence. The journey to the airport was really quiet. No one dared to start a conversation. Truth is, we never really get to know the guys before. I bet they didn't even know we existed too. Considering that one of them only happened to add us on Facebook a day before the journey started. We were complete strangers going on a backpacking trip. So yeah, it was crickets all the way.
Arriving in Queen Alia International Airport an hour later marked our real backpacking journey. Goodness gracious we were super excited to the point of euphoria. Ok that was a little bit over the top. We saw some familiar Malaysian faces at the check-in counters. Something we expected. Malaysian students in Jordan will never settle with spending a whole month of winter break over here. Come on, its a very tiny country.
While checking in, there was this one very snobbish airport lady who doesn't even know how to speak English properly but happened to act like she was a boss. Shuush. She was asking a group of Malaysians going to the UK to wait outside the check-in line and wait for other Malaysians to check-in together. I have no idea why she did that though.
Anyhow, we boarded the plane without any glitch. The EasyJet flight, bound to London Gatwick took around 5 hours. In case you're wondering, yes its a low cost budget flight. And yes, the seats can't be reclined. Not to mention free seating as well. Which made everyone to board the plane very quickly to choose their seats. Just like AirAsia used to do. I really thought only in Malaysia that people are very cheapskate and not check-in their luggage. It turns out that everyone in the world does the same. The cabin was full of hand luggages. Oh well. The flight was erm... okay honestly it was boring. Like come on 5 hours without in-flight entertainment. So one advice to future budget travellers, stock up you iPod with good musics and movies or bring things to read to kill time.
Day 2
Jan 20th, London
Touched down at Gatwick Airport around 12-ish am. Goodness gracious I imagined the airport to be something like LCCT, boy was I wrong. It was big. Though nothing can beat Heathrow, but it is still very big and very nice too. First stop, their toilets. LOL. We all went in, leaving the guys outside. I guess the guys were bored of waiting for us when we took forever brushing our teeth and do business in the toilet. They freaking left us TT.TT
We were taking our own sweet time going through the immigrations and baggage reclaims because everyone knows there was nothing to rush. HELLO 17 HOURS OF TRANSIT PLEASE? The boys saw us walking very gracefully towards the immigration and asked whether we've filled in the arrival cards. Just like a pro, we answered "Dah" and overtook them and got cleared first. Muahahaha *evil laugh*
Next we looked around the North Terminal for places to lepak and rest before we set off on a quick trip to Central London in the morning. Costa Coffee for some midnight lattes and some much-needed sleep on the benches.
"In case you're wondering, no I'm not cold"
A very friendly pakcik, wearing a short sleeve shirt on a 2 degree winter morning, was telling us stories of London before we went on EasyBus to Central London at around 7 am.
"Ya know, there was snow around two me-tuh thick on the runway last yeah. The planes couldn't land on duh runway. All flights were cancelled"
"Cheers guys. Have fun in London"
And we did.
We rode on EasyBus to Central London. Took us over an hour. The plan was to go to Oxford Street, and only that. Each of us bought London's Underground Tube day pass. Saw loads of handsome young school lads - as how Kak Alya likes to put it - riding the tube to go to school. That is now, the definition of cool. So tell me when can I ride an underground train to my university? Never in a million years. Lols.
We totally forgot that it was rush hour. London-ers are busy going on and off the train for work. Ah what the hell. Lets just do it the Jordanian way. Lets just squeeze in y'all! The train arrived and everyone squeezed in. It was packed. Imagine KTM on a Friday evening. Just as I thought everyone was already inside, Amir blurted out an "Eh Ama!"
Too late Amir, too late. =.="
The tube door closed and Ama was left behind! I could feel my heart pumping in my ears.
"Tunggu Ama kat Nottinghill lah. She knows her way. She's been here before"
"NO! Let's get off at the next stop and wait for her!"
"What? Can we even see her with this seas of people?"
And we got off at the next station not knowing what to do. Seconds later another train passed and voila! There was Ama standing at the door. HEART ATTACK #1.
Continued the journey and got off at Bond Street. We had brunch at Garfunkel's courtesy Ama's high school friend, Farida, who is doing her A Levels over there. Smoked salmon was bloody good I tell ya. All we did after that was walk along the street and went into these mind-blowing stores. Hanya mampu puji kerana takde duit KAHKAH.
Went back to the airport, got our stuffs and checked in for Vienna! Woohoo! Flight to Vienna was at 5.00pm. Duration: approx 2 hours. On the flight I sat next to a lovely lady, travelling with her French boyfriend. She was travelling to Slovak to meet her parents. And I said I was on a backpacking trip to Vienna with friends. I told her our original plan was to go to Slovakia but we detoured and changed it to Vienna instead. All she said was - "That was a smart move".
A senior from KISAS - Nora's school - fetched us at the airport and taught us how to ride the U-Bahn and S-Bahn to get around Vienna. Kak Huda was so baik and even jotted down some of the places we could go on a piece of paper.
She brought us on an OBB S-Bahn train to our hostel in Keplerplatz, pre-booked of course, by the most awesome hostel picker, Kak Alya! Hostel Meininger was super awesome! With really good rates! Highly recommended. Oh and there's a bonus to it as well. Across the street from our hostel, there was this errr how do I put this nicely... this small little place where adults go to see some adult show? If you know what I mean. Haha.
ANYWAY.
The hostel was nice. Really.
Day 3
Jan 21st, Vienna
All we did on this day was walk around the city without any, ANY idea on where to go. We were a little bit clueless at first. But when all you see was beautiful architectures, amazing landscapes, fabulous people, you just don't care. We wandered around the city, trusting our feet and instincts. Nothing is more wonderful than that. One word : carefree. Not Kotex.
Some statues. We dont even know their names and the story behind it LOL
We wandered around the city until we found this pakcik. Nora wanted to take photos with him at first because he was in this fancy outfit, but somehow this pakcik has something else to offer us *rubbing hands in glee*
This pakcik were promoting tickets to a classical performance. The girls were keen on going. Though everyone was being extra skeptical to the fact that the dress code was casual. Yes we were clueless but not clueless enough to know that every theatre performances has a dress code. One who does not obey the code is committing a major social faux pax. But the pakcik said we look good and sneakers and jeans are fine. So we bought 4 tickets. Each costs a whooping 29 euros. Show will be starting at 8 that night.
And in the evening ... *drum roll* IT SNOWED!
We walked through the snow, rode the metro, got off at Harengasse and walked to Palais Kinsky, the venue where the show was held. Suprise surprise! We were there feeling very under-dressed. Walking on a smooth red carpet with jeans and wet sneakers, thanks to the snow. But what the hell, we paid for the tickets. Yang penting confident kahkah.
On this particular night, we came up with the bad ass concept. Bad ass muslimah style. The most bad ass thing we did was .... going out at 10.30pm without muraqqibs. Eating fries at McDonalds. Paling bad ass dalam dunia. Well, that's better than sleeping without brushing your teeth. Say what? That was Kak Alya's definition of a total bad ass.
Day 4
Jan 22nd, Vienna
"We'd like to skate, but we know nothing about skating"
"How old are you guys?"
"19 year-olds"
"You can skate in the kids skating rink, its for free"
Like true Asians, we skate like noobs - with the Austrian kids. The skating rink was full with toddlers learning how to skate and suddenly this 7 huge Asian kids started to join them. All eyes were on us. We knew it, we did not belong over there. KAHKAH. Bought tickets for the real rinks after practising for a few minutes. AND BAM! It was so much better!
Next stop was Prater Park and Schonbrunn Palace. Praterstern was a little bit deserted, probably because we went on a weekend. But we nevertheless had fun. Throw us anywhere and we have no problems having fun.
Bumper cars. Seriously. Bumper cars. Out of all the places. In Vienna. Bumper cars. 2 euros. Yes.
Phew. That was fun.
Last place we visited in Vienna was Schonbrunn Palace. The Palace used to be the house of the emperor Franz Joseph. Who was the father of Maria Antoinette. The palace was uh-mazing.
Franz Joseph once said, "One must work until one is exhausted".
He was very fond of his wife. There were speculations though on whether or not his wife felt the same.
"Marriage is an absurd institution"
That was what she once said. Maybe she was having PMS. Never speculate on the empress ok.
I wont guarantee this "travelogue" will be continued. It depends.
Friday, February 3, 2012
For What May Come
I recalled myself writing a list on things I wanted to do before I die. One of them was to backpack around Europe. I didn't expect that to be this quick. I didn't expect I could cross that out before anything else. It was 13 days of pure fun, memories, laughters, joy, nerve-wrecking, stomach-twisting and whatnot. 13 days that I would never every forget in my whole entire life.
Experience is a lesson one can never buy anywhere else. I am so glad that I was given the chance to learn it first hand. In addition to going through many things along the way with awesome people. We missed the final metro station in Vienna and got stuck inside the parking space of a train, in Venice we searched for available hostels for 8 for 2 hours on foot with a 10kg backpack, we had to walk all the way from Rome to Vatican City just to save money on transports, Rome made us run and simply hop on into another train in a middle of nowhere because workers were having a strike and Prague taught us how we never want this trip to end.
We shared stories along the way, we played games, we teased and joked. Because people say the journey not the arrival that matters, I must say that the journey we took was a great one. And I am so glad that I was able to do this with you guys.
It was an amazing trip with amazing people. With that I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. We should do this again someday enshaAllah :)
“Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey.” – Pat Conroy
Very, very true.
Experience is a lesson one can never buy anywhere else. I am so glad that I was given the chance to learn it first hand. In addition to going through many things along the way with awesome people. We missed the final metro station in Vienna and got stuck inside the parking space of a train, in Venice we searched for available hostels for 8 for 2 hours on foot with a 10kg backpack, we had to walk all the way from Rome to Vatican City just to save money on transports, Rome made us run and simply hop on into another train in a middle of nowhere because workers were having a strike and Prague taught us how we never want this trip to end.
We shared stories along the way, we played games, we teased and joked. Because people say the journey not the arrival that matters, I must say that the journey we took was a great one. And I am so glad that I was able to do this with you guys.
It was an amazing trip with amazing people. With that I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. We should do this again someday enshaAllah :)
Very, very true.
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