Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Im glad that my life is unfolding the way it is now. I have always prayed for a partner, and a partner is what i have right now. We're planning on getting married soon inshallah, and i'm genuinely is very excited of the new phase we'll be going through together. It came unexpectedly but it is what it is. I am never sure of things in this life, i always needed consult from people. But this time around, this is what i want. I know it for sure. But im just a lil apprehensive on the timing. It is seemingly a little rushed. But i hope things will work out just fine in the end amin.
Now that part is decided and done for, im focusing on other issues in my life. The most major is the fact that i am still stuck here in this godforsaken ghost town. I really dont mind the work load at the clinic. My colleagues and boss are all rly nice. But i just feel like im wasting my potential. Like im not progressing. Ive tried applying to so many places but the choice is pretty limited. It is unfortunate that i have all these time in the world but i do not put it into good use. Sigh.. i just hope the plans that ive been putting efforts in works out it the end. Also, i want to be close to my family again. Most importantly my partner. Because in my mind there's only one way to marriage and LDR isnt it. But again, it is what it is.
My mental health hasn't really been improving. In fact it is deteriorating lately. I get that i live in solitude most of the time now, i get that i need to be able to entertain myself and keep myself occupied. I tell myself that im okay and i'm strong most of the time But lets just not kid myself, i still feel very lonely. And i've never felt this level of anxiety and loneliness before. I crave for human interaction after work. I crave for social night life with friends. Or just go out to the mall and be able to eat and shop at my will. It feels rly restricted to be living in this part of the town. And i just can't begin to explain the frustrations because i don't think anybody gets how hard it is.
For this year i rly hope that my personal life gets sorted. My career progressed and my mental health improving.
I'm getting older and not getting any younger. I dont wanna be living my life like a dead fish. If i dont like something i will change it.
God i hope you ease this burden on my chest. Ease my commute. Place me close to my loved ones. O Lord the All-Knowing.
Im glad that my life is unfolding the way it is now. I have always prayed for a partner, and a partner is what i have right now. We're planning on getting married soon inshallah, and i'm genuinely is very excited of the new phase we'll be going through together. It came unexpectedly but it is what it is. I am never sure of things in this life, i always needed consult from people. But this time around, this is what i want. I know it for sure. But im just a lil apprehensive on the timing. It is seemingly a little rushed. But i hope things will work out just fine in the end amin.
Now that part is decided and done for, im focusing on other issues in my life. The most major is the fact that i am still stuck here in this godforsaken ghost town. I really dont mind the work load at the clinic. My colleagues and boss are all rly nice. But i just feel like im wasting my potential. Like im not progressing. Ive tried applying to so many places but the choice is pretty limited. It is unfortunate that i have all these time in the world but i do not put it into good use. Sigh.. i just hope the plans that ive been putting efforts in works out it the end. Also, i want to be close to my family again. Most importantly my partner. Because in my mind there's only one way to marriage and LDR isnt it. But again, it is what it is.
My mental health hasn't really been improving. In fact it is deteriorating lately. I get that i live in solitude most of the time now, i get that i need to be able to entertain myself and keep myself occupied. I tell myself that im okay and i'm strong most of the time But lets just not kid myself, i still feel very lonely. And i've never felt this level of anxiety and loneliness before. I crave for human interaction after work. I crave for social night life with friends. Or just go out to the mall and be able to eat and shop at my will. It feels rly restricted to be living in this part of the town. And i just can't begin to explain the frustrations because i don't think anybody gets how hard it is.
For this year i rly hope that my personal life gets sorted. My career progressed and my mental health improving.
I'm getting older and not getting any younger. I dont wanna be living my life like a dead fish. If i dont like something i will change it.
God i hope you ease this burden on my chest. Ease my commute. Place me close to my loved ones. O Lord the All-Knowing.
