Rain

Just something I had in mind.. Nothing great, same old cliches I love. Enjoy :)

It was dark. Deafening thunders roared, as black, dense clouds were rolling towards the hill. Lightnings were pelting relentlessly between the old oak trees. I watched the heavy downpour from my bedroom window and played my heart-shaped locket between my fingers. I heaved a sigh of relief. I can't bear putting on fake smiles for them anymore. No pats on the back, no laughters, no nothing. No kidding.

"I shall put a stop to this whole charade once and for all". My thoughts dwelled in my mind as the painful memory did its relapse in my brain for the gazillionth time. But it can't stop no matter how hard I tried to block it. It kept on coming and tailing me like a faithful little golden retriever. But this one is a species of evil. The one that gives a burning throbbing sensation in your chest. As though its little teeth are biting into your flesh, embedding the venom that leaves you in constant pain that never goes away. It makes you wanna lose it and just let the pool of tears you were holding back, to flow free.

"Its him. Isnt it?" A vague little voice suddenly spoke. The inaudible voice I detested so much for always telling me the truth. The truth I'd like to sugar-coat. The truth I longed for an hour soak in honey maple. It won't be that hard to swallow I thought to myself.

I brought my chin away from the sill and went to search under my bed. Its the wooden box. Dusty. Frail. Broken. My upper lip trembled as I unlocked the box with the locket I treasured so much. I read all the letters. I looked at the photos. Movie tickets. Little notes. Everything we shared.

The bell rang. I gasped. "It couldn't be any other time could it?" Annoyed,I quickly wiped my tears and blew a few deep breaths in front of the mirror. "Cominggg!" I hurriedly ran down the stairs. Who could it be? I fumbled with the knob and pulled the door open.

I hated my mind for playing tricks with me. No no no no. This can't be him. A stupendous fine lad with soft baby blue eyes was standing before me. No, this is not him. I tried convincing myself. That lad was drenched top to toe. He stared into my swollen, bloodshot eyes as I begun to shake my head in indenial. It felt like the time had stopped. And the air around us was stagnant. He opened his mouth. "I'm sorry it had to be that way". He took a step closer and wrapped his arms around me. My face was lodged into his warm chest. I wept like I never had. He pulled me tighter and we stood like that what it seemed to feel like a century. And the downpour settled into beads of tiny drizzles..

Eid :D

When you don't have the slightest idea on what to write on your blog, you make a list.

Things That I Love On Raya

• New baju kurungss! Me like new clothes! Well, who doesnt? Its the excitement of wearing new ones that I love.
• Duit rararaya. I'm at my richest status during Raya.
• A VERY HEAVY breakfast after 30 days of not eating in the morning (regardless of sahur)
• A full tummy by 12 noon.
• Got to meet relatives. How family expands so rapidly. Every year there are always new installments into my memory. New cousins, new babies, newlywed aunties & uncles. Even the old ones whom I never even bother to get to know before this.
• Hawt Malay guys in complete baju melayu and sampin. They got this "polished look" that I so loike.
• Lagu Raya! Notice how every year it is always the same ones? Well, Raya songs never really get out of date don't they?
• Camwhore sessions with vain siblings and cousins. :D
• Juadah rayaaaaaaaaaaaa. Rendang, kuzi, ketupat, roti jala, satay and whatnot. You wont get all those good stuffs served at one time except during Raya and only Raya.
• And everything in between.. Too many things to list down. HEHE

Perfection

Maybe its not what I need.

Too perfect to touch I guess? Nothing to explore beyond the outline,no? That makes it unfathomable. I dont like that, you see. Because I'd like to know . I like to waft around the dark void between us. Paint it with colours. Bridging the distance. Make us meet in the middle. But everytime it gets closer, theres something. That something or perhaps someone? It pulls away. Letting it drift further and further out of sight. Poof! We're back to square one. Repulsive but yet attractive? Starting the vicious cycle all over again. Just fill your supremacy. Requench you thirst of angst. Dont you think Im too free to fly? Too free to wander? Let me bow to your prerogative.

I am a skeptic. But.

"You are the only exception"
"You are the only exception"

And now lets have a tight grip on reality shall we?