Coffee and Toast

Now now. Who says I have no life over here? Oh wait I do. But boy I liked it that I did something and actually talk to a physical someone today. I'm having this paranoia of me forgetting how to socialize because I spend too much time online. Yakni, me socializing but truth is I was alone. Alas, I can be socially-inverted.

I woke up to a very dark and cold room. It turned out that the electricity was out. My night light was out too,of course. But I was freezing thanks to the rain. The first thought that came up to my mind was; "Oh crap how will I ever go out in this terrible weather". But I did go anyway, alone. Loved the feeling of control. But the original plan to hit the tennis balls didn't work out.

A good friend of mine tapped my car's window and I swear I nearly laughed my ass off because he looked funny on the motorbike. HAHA. And surprising enough, he was giggling because according to him I don't look convincing on the drivers' seat. So, instead of building muscles, we built fat and went to my favourite classic kopitiam. We ate a little, talked a lot and laughed like nobody's business. Seriously I can feel the eyes of the other customers laying on our table when we laughed like crazy over some stupid stories.

And yeah why am I telling you this again? Oh. Just to point out that little things like grabbing a teh tarik and a coffee in the morning with a friend to talk with can really enlighten my days. And my life around here is not as boring as it sounds. I just have to figure out fun things to do. Even if it means lazing around in a pathetic looking kopitiam.

Life's too good to be wasted.

Good Riddance

One of my 2011 tiny resolutions was to get rid of any vulgar words from my dictionary. Probably not get rid la, more to reducing my swearing and cursing. I know, I'm a girl. Tak manis di dengar orang la kan. Bukan perempuan pun tak manis di dengar jugak. Tiada bezanya.

I've started driving on the road for a few times already now after passing that stupid JPJ test for the third time. Yes people, I did the test three times. And honestly, my third attempt was the worst. But because of the evaluations depend on the testers' mood and whatever human factors you can add in here, I did pass. Although I really felt like slapping that tester in his face for being ultra rude to timid me. But I couldn't care less. As long as I pass.

ANYWAY.

The traffic in Kota Bharu sucks big time. The motorists' attitude on the road is very unethical and people is very suka hati over here. Eh scratch that. I think anywhere in Malaysia also very suka hati lah. Can get hypertension one. This situation is so not helping with my good intentions to change my foulmouth.

"OH SHIT ADA LORI."

"FUCK MOTOR NI GILA KE APE."

"DAMN YOU PEDESTRIAN"

Ok baiklah tu baru berapa kali on the road kan. Oh and sorry for my explicit language.

Ok baiklah lain kali aku drive, I'll make sure I'll siletep my mulut.

I'm No Superman

He stared in the mirror. Drawing the outline of his squared jaw with his fingers, moving towards his high cheekbone. Pretty exquisite. He told himself. Pretty strong. He stood tall, conquering his own reflection. The clock suddenly stopped ticking.

He fell on his knees with a loud thud. The image of his statuesqe figure paused in the virtual dimension. His limbs started to quiver. His thin lips trembled. He put his hands around his head and tears streamed down on his face. He gave a loud, painful wail. He screamed in agony. Veins in his forehead strained. He sobbed as the earth humbly cushioned his fall. The slurry memories of the past rewind itself in his sub-conscious mind.

The world around him started spinning.

Its time.

He collected himself and stood straight. The heavy emotions stopped abruptly. He was standing right in front of his shadow.

Its time.

Tick tock tick tock.

The clock on the wall resumed. He was in his handsome posture. Looking at his own reflections, he grinned. This is what I was supposed to be. This is what is meant to be. I have no choice. No compromise. I have to live up to what is perceived. No room for honesty.

He put his palm to his chest and felt his heart.

"Even heroes have the right to bleed."

"Fine. I won't come back this time."

Overwhelmed

That was me during Earth Hour. Not.

Thank you everyone, from the bottom of my heart thank you.

But now what? Hate to say that I'm a little too overwhelmed. With everything. I hope I'll always have my feet on the ground. Not in the mood of writing nowadays. Sigh~

Compendium

Back to where I left.

Reading
When I came back for the much-anticipated holidays, little did I know that I'm gonna turn into a total bookworm. Like totally. I dug into my old books, did some re-run on series and as well as catch up some of the materials that I left behind when I was in school. Indulging into fictions is one of the greatest past time ever. So far I've read :

• The Last Song, Nicholas Sparks
  
• Five People You Met in Heaven, Mitch Albom
  
• For One More Day, Mitch Albom
  
• Sirens of Baghdad, Yasmina Khadra
  

Okay, making lists is so boring.

Anyway, I'm currently reading The Lost Symbol, which I borrowed from my brother-in-law. My first attempt at reading this kind of genre and I LOVE IT! After flipping a few pages it got me right in front of the computer and starts my wiki wiki research. Learnt many cool stuffs on the US Capitol, Freemasons and stuffs like that. Another thing I'm a sucker for -- conspiracy theories.

I have so many waiting in line after this one. Looks like I have to do some speed reading.

Lessons Learnt

• Don't buy new books when you haven't finished the one you're reading
  
• Reading can be fun with lights dimmed
  
• Books are expensive
  
• That why its cheaper to borrow from libraries
  
• School library sucks for not having decent books to read
  
• State library too
  

Seriously, I shall stop posting super boring entries like this. Toodles.

On the Verge of Giving Up

But no I will never do that. Been trying to learn some serious classical pickings, oh my that was so hard I kept on jumping from one song to another. Currently working on Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata -- had only learnt the first nine bars though. The fingering on this one is tolerable only the sonata is super long I can cry looking at the tab sheet. So that explains why I have been only working on the intro. Hehe. I should really learn how to read musical notes from now on. Rather than just memorizing tabs and chords. Oh well..

ANYWAY.

See? Even if I wasn't given the chance to go for early intake to college, I'm jobless, I don't go hang out with friends and I wasn't chosen to undergo NS training, doesn't mean I don't learn anything at home. Doesn't mean I let myself to rot and be a total couch potato. ( Okay perhaps I am. A LITTLE )

So to make me feel good about myself I'd like to list down stuffs I did over the past three months. It really has been over three months hasn't it? Can't believe it.

Travelling
A Christmas trip around Malaysia with mia familia. Melaka, Alor Star, Penang, KL, Seremban. Then, had a short trip down to Kuantan over the weekends with teachers. Was really good to see the familiar town I grew up in. Brings back good old memories. Ahhh.. Did some catch-ups with friends too.

I went to Seoul for the first time in January. Or was it February? It was winter and me being a true tropical girl hated the weather initially. Snow was magical, really. BUT. There's a big but over here. It made my boots wet, it made the ground slippery, my coat was wet. Wasn't my first encounter with snow though. But the heavy snowing part was my first.

Next, it was Jakarta. Damn, I have never shopped like that in my whole entire life. Like on my own. But no regrets over there, I'm happy to indulge with what I bought. Like lotsa clothes. Hihi. And the food in Jakarta was great. I don't know how many times I've been there with my parents when I was younger, but I didn't remember having so much choices of street food to eat. I'm pretty sure street foods were not on my folks' top list last time. Of course hehe.

Lessons learnt :
1. Because we went backpacking, as in no tour whatsoever, we really had to rely on public transports. Seoul's and - yes, even Jakarta's were IMPRESSIVE. And I can't imagine how travelers can survive Malaysian's lousy public transports.
2. Language barrier in Korea wasn't a reason for them not being helpful to foreigners.
3. Korea has so many porn channels it was so disgusting.

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I'm gonna stop right here cause I am already on a yawning marathon. I'm boring myself with my sadistic stories. Will continue later. Toodles people.

Courage

Courage is all we need to survive. Live or die. Up or down. Yes or no. Everything is up to us now that we're old enough to decide.

Sometimes brain is not all it takes. But what's more important is knowledge you have in you. Knowledge that is not only obtained formally but also the ones you gotta learn yourself. Make the best of the environment and implement skills to your own self. But hey, its not as easy as it sounds. Unlike the education you receive via textbooks and teachers, skills are really hard to learn. Communications, manipulating, work ethics , just to name a few. Unless you're a natural, everything that comes under that category can only be learned through first-hand experiences, which not many of us are lucky enough to even have the chance to go through. Some learn during their childhood, taught by their parents. Some have to figure it out themselves. Skills or abilities are what separate us from the rest.

But what exactly is needed to be someone who has abilities or skills that could make us stands out in the crowd?

For me the answer is simple.

Courage and confidence.

A teacher once said to me,
"Semua orang same je. Yang penting kamu berani."

True enough. Being bold has got its advantage. That is gonna put you ahead of your game. Doesn't matter if you stumble upon your way up. At least that's better than not trying at all. And to own skillful abilities, you need to be fearless. ( Of course smart too, can't afford to be stupid all the time, can we? )

No matter what field I might be in later in life, whatever the future might hold for me, courage is what I need. I need to be brave and constantly keep my self-esteem boosted. Even at times I might be overlooking slurry images of life. But I must stay true to myself and keep myself on track. And I pray to the Almighty that I can always find the strength in me whenever I might be needing them.

In a week I'll be receiving my passport to my future. Whatever the outcome is, I'll be ready to take on the challenge. Que sera sera, what will be will be. Good or bad. Success or failure. At the end of the day, you'll just have to go on, proceed to the next level in life and survive the harsh world whether you like it or not.

And I can't wait. Bring it on.

P/S : Simply just need to write something tonight. Oh and please pray for my upcoming results! :)

Sensitivity

When I heard China (certain parts) was celebrating over the mishap that struck Japan, I was disgusted to my core. As to how insensitive people might become when revenge is their utmost priority. Even at times when innocent lives were at stake, when things that matter the most were their own lives. Not their cars, mansions, their most treasured possessions, etc.

Imagine. One second all you see were rainbows, butterflies in a warm breezy park. Grass of green, tickling your feet with its tender velvet touch. All you hear were the soft whispers of the wind, birds humming. And in a sudden, it was pitch black. Screeching high-pitched sounds were deafening your eardrums, tearing apart your earlobes. And before you can digest everything, you are now standing on a wobbly cliff. Below are monstrous waves, dispersed into white clusters of water as they hit the sharp-edged rocks. You screamed and shrieked. Noises were heard at the other side of the cliff. All you want now is to jump over there, believing there is somwhat hope. But the noises? They turned out to be laughters, mocking and taunting for your life is now in jeopardy.

China - Japan feud went back to year 1900s (not sure what year exactly). So I did some research and this piece of historical fact is very mind boggling I've to share. Simply because histories with a twist of conspiracies always amaze me.

Ever heard of "Nanking Massacre"? Ok this is how it goes.

So one day, The Japanese claimed to be fired on by the Chinese troops at the Marco Polo Bridge near Beijing. So the Japs used this as an excuse to launch a full scale invasion on China. During which, China's authority, Guomintang, provided very little resistance. So it was really easy for the Japs to invade China and do terrors and that time. The also called "Rape of Nanking" got its name when the Japs' senior officers gave clearance to their down lines to ransack the whole district of Nanking. So you know what happened next, they did the same to Tanah Melayu during their invasions after taking over the land from the Brits as well. But only not massive lah compared to what they did. Chinese women were raped and abused. The death toll was allegedly believed to be as high as 250 000.

But some thought it wasn't that bad and its way over rated. Just to serve as a propaganda for China. Nobody knows..

What the world knows is that, these two giants of economics in the Asia Pacific's region can never get along. Recent feuds over an island in the East China Sea obviously showed the world they can never meet in the middle over matters that need to be solved.

Damn I got a little carried away. Back to the point..

These old wounds were reopened by the Chinese when the tsunami struck Japan and that disaster was the worst to hit Japan since a century ago. The Chinese claimed this as a revenge and a payback from God for what the Japs did to their people in the previous years.

But in my humble opinion, that is unacceptable. To laugh and taunt at the innocent victims and generalize things from the past. That doesn't give you the license to mock people around especially the ones who are having a hard time, even if the massacre is personally related to you.

See I have family members who got killed in the May 13th tragedy. But that doesn't mean I can pass with being racist and giving out racial remarks. I have a relative, shot to the head, point blanc. In front of his wife and kids by the Thai armies at his house during the conflict between Thai authority and Southern Thai Moslems. But that doesn't mean I can boo, joke and laugh at the Thais when Thaksin Sinawatra turned out to be a real jackass.

Sensitivity is what we need nowadays.

And we definitely don't need this at times like this.




Freedom of speech my ass!

The world is crying

The world is crying;
enraged in anger
shedding tears
shhh..
whisper your prayer
'cause He hears.

The world is crying;
shrieking to oceans
trembling the trees
quiet! be caution
we'll coax the breeze.

The world is crying;
for she is forlorn
of fear, terror, fright
leaving harmony unborn
shoving passion aside.

The world is crying;
she cries today
weeped in blue
shh..
it'll be okay
we're crying with you.

- 11/3/2011

A tribute to the victims of the horrible tsunami that wrought Sendai city and the area around North Japan. The devastating tsunami claimed over 300 lives up to this date and 500 are still reported missing. Death count is rising rapidly.

My thoughts and prayers are with you guys out there.

Great cities will be ruined and it will be as if they had
not existed the day before.

(Al-Muttaqi al-Hindi, Al-Burhan fi Alamat
al-Mahdi Akhir al-Zaman)

Because classical guitars are never meant to be strummed

I Go cover by Pete Teo. Or the Malay version, Pergi by Aizat. Same je. This is my first time recording in HD courtesy of Anne. Shot using her Sony Nex 5. My fingers look extremely gorgeous! Need to shoot more using HD :P







Played in standard tuning instead of tuning it to two steps down. Some slacks here and there but who cares. Saya malas nak nyanyi yang ni pasal the key is too low and I don't have that wide of vocal range hehehe. So okay, people please sing a long :)

Alzheimer

I have been staring at this blank screen since forever not knowing what to write about. I have many things in mind but just not ready to pour it yet. Long hours of going and thinking through them is one thing, but to actually type it is another. So I'd save that for other time. Make sure you stay tuned. Not that I have that many readers pun. But whatever. I was just saying.

Ok enough rantings. Moving on.

The other day, I was going mental with my phone line a.k.a operator a.k.a whatever you call that thing. So mine is Celcom. I tried texting and calling out, but to no avail. So I checked my balance and yes I wasn't broke yet. (And yes, I'm using prepaid still) There are still a few pennies. I figured they were having problems with the line. But my patience was pushed to my limits. So I dialed 1111. Their Careline Centre and spoke to the.. what are they called again? Whatever who cares.

So I was planning to get really bitchy and set my message across. As in why does your line sucks so much?

But after some interrogations by the person at the end of the line (whatever they are called)...

It turned out that my Airtime was expired.

I sounded like a total noob. Nasib baik kakak tu tak kenal aku.

-____________-

Magnetism

They say opposite attracts. But how far is this true? I would say it is somewhat true. Otherwise everyone on planet earth might be either asexual or gay. Even if I am open to any sexualities if the matter of religion does not counts, I would still resent to that concept. Though I dig hot girls about the same par as I dig hot guys, I still think the concept of everyone being asexual fairly disgusting and totally apalling.

ANYWAY. I got a little carried away sorry

Some might not succumb to this whole opposite attracts theory. Some preferences in choosing partners are based on the similarities among them. For instance Jack likes the same music that Jill does. Jill loves to skate, so does Jack. Jack and Jill are both in med school. Jack even has some resemblance of Jill and vice versa. You know, sometimes in occurs to us that some couples actually do look alike. So does it means that you're falling for somebody who has the exact traits that you own? That sounds a little vain. Meaning, you're digging yourself. Only of the opposite sex. No? Just saying..

Similarities might sound boring. Opposites sound more of a challenge. But how many of us have really encountered an aristocrat marrying a commoner? It is so rare that we only see that in the movies. And in Disney's Aladdin and Princess Jasmine of course. And at the end of the day, one would succumb to the other person's trait that is totally opposite of his/her and kinda balance it out. Just like the Principles of Superposition. Where a constructive wave meets a destructive wave and creates nodal points a.k.a zero amplitude.

But I'm not really that skeptical. Everything has its own way. And as to my own preferences, I would pick the opposite. Not that I find myself unappealing if you know what I mean.

So does that means that my other half would be very short, athletic, very friendly, has really good sense of direction, a good car driver, hardworking, brave, a math geek and has big boobs?

Can't help to be very serious in this entry I almost sound like a Love Doctor or Relationship Expert. Which I am so not. Just a two cents on what I think of choosing partners. Cheers. :D

Nevermind

Reading good blogs makes me wonder. How can bloggers have so many ideas to write about? Unlike me who can't seem to think of any decent entries to write lately.

But it got to me. Great bloggers (mostly) are honest with their entries. Too honest sometimes that it served like a public diary. I wish I could be like that. Because let's just face it, people likes reading private stuffs. People are just nosy about other people's lives. And as a matter of fact so am I.

But I'd rather not be honest. Not here.

Try else where.

Its okay. Don't try to fathom that.

Nostrils

Lesson learnt today

When you're bored, the last thing you should do is type your own name in a search engine. Because that's where you will find unexpected things that'll make you go WTF OMG BRB GTG.



click to enlarge

And this is one of the examples. Makes me wanna pick my nose.
-_______________________-

Ms. Curiosity

Cod liver oil capsules. Beautiful. The most resplendent capsules I think I've ever consumed. With gorgeous colors - reminds me of warm honey tea. Only it doesn't taste that way. I only found that out today.

A bag of these pretty creatures were lazing on my dressing table. My mouth got ready as my brain was planning steps to take on this challenge. Picked one up and made my way to the sink. Because yeah I know I might need a little help of the H2O. Slowly, I bit the edge and the oil spurt out on my tongue and my left cheek got some taste of it as well. The second my brain digest the taste of that thing I started to drop F-bombs relentlessly.

I swear to God it tasted like crap. Like mother of all crap.

I can't believe I am THAT stupid. Lol.