I don't usually write about what I did when the year ends. And I stopped making resolutions cause I don't really see the point.
So here's to the last post of 2012. Perhaps will come out as the first post of 2013 because... my laptop clock is still set as Malaysian time. Yeah whatever.
2012 was an awesome year. I grew up a lot, I made mistakes, I learnt and I tried accepting failures, I overcame fears and that's just about it I guess. A lot of things happened ; some are great to remember, some are better off forgotten. Nonetheless, everything happens for many reasons and there's always a silver lining to every clouds, or so I believe.
Among the best memories that I'd loved to cherish was my first ever backpacking trip to Europe with my friends. It definitely is at the top of my favourite memories to cherish. You know that sense of belonging you feel when you're really feel comfortable around your small group of friends. I've always thought that I'll be out of place or not fit in, but you guys proved me wrong. It was fun and I hoped I could that again someday. And a big thank you to Kak Aliya Ama Nora Amir Arai Que and Faizal for making the trip one of the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life.
I moved in a rented apartment with 4 other housemates, Hannah Paan Jasmine and Laila. I met new people, got really bonded. Had conflicts along the way. Ended up as strangers. Well that's how life works. Trying to accept that shits happen. Learnt new things, learn how to speak Arabic. I can talk now. I learn how to bake. I learn to be punctual. I cooked rendang ayam during Raya Haji. We made red velvet, I baked banana cake. We organized our own open houses. I organized a booth for my club during a carnival. I survived the cold harsh winter and the hot burning summer. I survived the judgmental eyes and be myself.
Heartbreaks mistakes and expectations.
It has been a long time ago and I'd rather not talk about it. Some say it isn't healthy for me to hold on for too long. Some say if he really want me, he'd be chasing after me already and not just ignore. Some say I should be the one giving chances. Some even say I won't even have the shot anymore. Well for me, I just don't really care anymore and I honestly have gave up. So it's just up to fate and destiny to decide cause it's just so tiring. And I know I shouldn't be saying things like this but yeah... ya know I just don't care. And I screw up a lot. Maybe because I was too stupid... no, not too stupid to use screwdrivers. But too stupid to realize what people did to me and what I'm subconsciously doing to people. I sincerely apologize if I ever messed up and played around people's feeling. It wasn't a wise thing to do, and I know where I went wrong.
Of love companionship and trust
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or so they say. Because being 5000 miles away from home isn't the thing that you would hope for at times like this, you just feel the love more and more. Love isn't about the distance but it's about how far the love can travel. My sisters and brother are all married. Our families are all extending with new editions of in-laws and nephews but...... yeah I'm like in a whole different parallel world that can only see updates via Facebook or Skype. It sucks knowing that your nephew wouldn't recognize you cause you come home once a year. By the time I graduate they probably will have half a dozen adiks already.
Missions resolutions hopes
If I could ever hope for something do-able it would be, me being a better muslimah and changing towards better. And do well in my studies, God knows how much I don't wanna repeat my semesters. I'd do anything to graduate in time.
Well actually I tend to not expect anything nowadays because letting yourselves down with your own hopes is just the hardest thing to deal with, ever. I'm a firm believe in "Good things come when you least expect it" now. So yes. Im not expecting anything from 2013. But maybe 2013 expects something from me? Who knows.
So here's to the last post of 2012. Perhaps will come out as the first post of 2013 because... my laptop clock is still set as Malaysian time. Yeah whatever.
2012 was an awesome year. I grew up a lot, I made mistakes, I learnt and I tried accepting failures, I overcame fears and that's just about it I guess. A lot of things happened ; some are great to remember, some are better off forgotten. Nonetheless, everything happens for many reasons and there's always a silver lining to every clouds, or so I believe.
Among the best memories that I'd loved to cherish was my first ever backpacking trip to Europe with my friends. It definitely is at the top of my favourite memories to cherish. You know that sense of belonging you feel when you're really feel comfortable around your small group of friends. I've always thought that I'll be out of place or not fit in, but you guys proved me wrong. It was fun and I hoped I could that again someday. And a big thank you to Kak Aliya Ama Nora Amir Arai Que and Faizal for making the trip one of the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life.
I moved in a rented apartment with 4 other housemates, Hannah Paan Jasmine and Laila. I met new people, got really bonded. Had conflicts along the way. Ended up as strangers. Well that's how life works. Trying to accept that shits happen. Learnt new things, learn how to speak Arabic. I can talk now. I learn how to bake. I learn to be punctual. I cooked rendang ayam during Raya Haji. We made red velvet, I baked banana cake. We organized our own open houses. I organized a booth for my club during a carnival. I survived the cold harsh winter and the hot burning summer. I survived the judgmental eyes and be myself.
Heartbreaks mistakes and expectations.
It has been a long time ago and I'd rather not talk about it. Some say it isn't healthy for me to hold on for too long. Some say if he really want me, he'd be chasing after me already and not just ignore. Some say I should be the one giving chances. Some even say I won't even have the shot anymore. Well for me, I just don't really care anymore and I honestly have gave up. So it's just up to fate and destiny to decide cause it's just so tiring. And I know I shouldn't be saying things like this but yeah... ya know I just don't care. And I screw up a lot. Maybe because I was too stupid... no, not too stupid to use screwdrivers. But too stupid to realize what people did to me and what I'm subconsciously doing to people. I sincerely apologize if I ever messed up and played around people's feeling. It wasn't a wise thing to do, and I know where I went wrong.
Of love companionship and trust
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or so they say. Because being 5000 miles away from home isn't the thing that you would hope for at times like this, you just feel the love more and more. Love isn't about the distance but it's about how far the love can travel. My sisters and brother are all married. Our families are all extending with new editions of in-laws and nephews but...... yeah I'm like in a whole different parallel world that can only see updates via Facebook or Skype. It sucks knowing that your nephew wouldn't recognize you cause you come home once a year. By the time I graduate they probably will have half a dozen adiks already.
Missions resolutions hopes
If I could ever hope for something do-able it would be, me being a better muslimah and changing towards better. And do well in my studies, God knows how much I don't wanna repeat my semesters. I'd do anything to graduate in time.
Well actually I tend to not expect anything nowadays because letting yourselves down with your own hopes is just the hardest thing to deal with, ever. I'm a firm believe in "Good things come when you least expect it" now. So yes. Im not expecting anything from 2013. But maybe 2013 expects something from me? Who knows.
1 comment:
more reflection than resolution.
that's something new. :)
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