Prove.

Sometimes all we want is to prove ourselves. I want to study hard, to prove that I too can score in my exams. To prove that I'm not that stupid. I want to learn cooking or baking, to prove that I'm not that useless. That there are things that I can actually do besides lazing around. I want to tell the world I do good deeds, I upload stuffs online, to shout out that I too have a kind heart. People want to be in relationships, to prove to the world that they are not "forever alone". People take pride in holding important posts, to prove to people that they too are responsible. That they can carry their duties well. (I'm just being very figurative here, please don't associate me with neither of these lols.)

We want to do this, to prove that. We do that, to prove this. To prove to them and everyone. Yea you get the picture. But why really? To shove it to the faces who had doubts in you that they were wrong. To just prove that you're not as bad as they think you were. Why do we have to care so much again? If we're doing things for people who did not even believe in us in the first place, I don't see why we have to put that much effort for people like them. That's a very sick way to put it but........ i hope you get my point.

Well I sometimes question my intentions too. Do I really want to do things because I just simply wanna do it? Or is it because everyone else is doing it. So I have to do it as well?

So I guess everytime we pick up something new let's just question ourself
a) who are we doing it for?
b) do we really love what we're doing?
c) are you gonna gain something from it?
d) will it ever benefit other people?

That's why we are always taught to tajdid our niats. Or renewing our intentions. We can get off track really easy it's inevitable. Besides if everything that we do is for the sake of Allah, it will always turn into ibadah. And by His will, we'll gain rewards inshallah. Easier said than done. But it's never impossible.