Death

Ever since akmal died, i havent really processed my feelings. It was a strange, deep, confusing feeling. We’re only bonded by the marriage of my sister and him. And him being the father of my nephew. When that marriage ended, i thought we shouldnt be connected. And so we didnt. 

I kinda blocked out his existence after that happened. To me he ceased to exist in my life because to me letting my sister go means letting my family go as well. I stopped thinking about him. However, looking back in retrospect we shared many many fond memories. I realized he was more than a brother in law. He was my friend. A really good friend of mine. He saw me grow from a little girl, to high school, sent me off when i went for uni and he was there when i got married. 

We shared our passion and interest for music. Him being the more talented one ofcourse. It just struck me that the strings of my guitar was last changed by him. Nobody knows how to change or even bother to except for him. 

Im listening to song covers on youtube and i just couldnt hold back my tears. We used to play and sing together, he ll be the first to jump if i suggest on new songs to play. I miss him and us as a family. We blended so well, but shit happened along the way. 

I guess it happened to soften the blow for ali. To be less affected when his daddy died. Im sorry you hv to go through all of this ali. I may not be the warmest, but I ll take care of you like my own. 

I miss you akmal. I hope we can see each other again in another realm and tell u how sorry i am. That we stopped being friends. But you’re in a much better place my friend. The world is a cruel place for people like you. I hope you rest in peace…i ll see you soon