Apparently I still have a few thousand JDs to work with and think of new projects for the refugees. I haven't got the time to think of anything yet, except for maybe just a simple tauzi3 makanan again. But today Ishak came out with a brilliant idea. He suggested that we sponsor a few individuals with chronic illness that needs monthly supply of medicines, for lets say 3 months... He personally knows some them from his kids in school. I'm really keen on making this work for the benefit in the long run.
Long run.
Which got me thinking.
How much longer do i even have running over here? I should have been rly active with this long time ago. Why now that I'm going, that I feel somehow attached to the work and people involved in this. The thoughts upsets me in the guts every time I think about it. That i should have done more when i had the time. I should have seek more funds when i had the chance. Soon i'm leaving this behind, and i don't wanna leave with regrets. I wanna do what i can while i can. Although I'm not that attached as compared to those who dedicate their live to this. I can't imagine what it'd be like for people like Ishak, Amir, Musa to leave everything they've built here and go back home one day.
While on the subject, as much as i look forward to graduate and go home for good, I am VERY scared. I am scared to suddenly lose the freedom to choose how i live my life. I am scared of commitments and expectations, i am scared of the real world. I am scared of suddenly losing my comfort zone and privacy. I am scared of not having adequate skills for my profession. I am scared that one day in the future, i will hv the need to stand up for what i think is best for me unlike living alone overseas - you could always choose to live however you want and nobody has anything to say.
Oh well. I guess it's time I be a little bit braver.
Long run.
Which got me thinking.
How much longer do i even have running over here? I should have been rly active with this long time ago. Why now that I'm going, that I feel somehow attached to the work and people involved in this. The thoughts upsets me in the guts every time I think about it. That i should have done more when i had the time. I should have seek more funds when i had the chance. Soon i'm leaving this behind, and i don't wanna leave with regrets. I wanna do what i can while i can. Although I'm not that attached as compared to those who dedicate their live to this. I can't imagine what it'd be like for people like Ishak, Amir, Musa to leave everything they've built here and go back home one day.
While on the subject, as much as i look forward to graduate and go home for good, I am VERY scared. I am scared to suddenly lose the freedom to choose how i live my life. I am scared of commitments and expectations, i am scared of the real world. I am scared of suddenly losing my comfort zone and privacy. I am scared of not having adequate skills for my profession. I am scared that one day in the future, i will hv the need to stand up for what i think is best for me unlike living alone overseas - you could always choose to live however you want and nobody has anything to say.
Oh well. I guess it's time I be a little bit braver.
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